I have come to the conclusion that people who can’t put together anentire English sentence should be infected with sars and forced to watch old people have sex. But Travis that is so mean… Yes I know and there is a good reason for this. Let me tell you the story. I’m at a store (Wal-Mart, I only went there for a video game I swear) and I’m standing in line waiting to buy my game. When these 2 little Mexican kids, and their 2 teeth smiling whore of a mother get in line behind me. That was fine with me, I mean who am I to tell people who can get in line behind me and who can’t. Anyways about 10 seconds after they get in line, I think the kids decided to play “Let’s see who can hit the gringo the hardest”, and they proceeded to beat the shit out of my legs and arms. I looked at the mom, and she just smiles her 2 tooth smile. The fat bitch who is running the check-out line just says “OMG those kids are so funny”, which made me want to say “OMG your so fat,
have you tried being anorexic?”

Those are pictures of the two rat bastards outside of their home. I decided to follow their mother’s 1978 Crown Royal 8 tone piece of shit
home, to find out where me and the homies would be doing the drive by next weekend. I mean seriously, am I the only one who thinks there is
something wrong with this picture. I’m still pissed off that I didn’t kick the kids in the head, then knock out the mom’s other 2 teeth and
then look over and smile.

However next time they better recognize. If you live in a area where the majority of the population can’t put an English sentence together, I suggest you get out now because I’m going to drop a few nukes I bought from Osama on your city. Regulators mount up.

A blonde decides to do something wild that she hasn`t done before — rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there`s nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. The blonde says, “I just rented an adult movie from you, and there`s nothing on the tape but static.” The store clerk replies, “Sorry about that. We`ve had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?” The blonde says, “It`s called Head Cleaner.”

Payday comes twice a month. Bills come every fucking day. Anyone see a problem with that picture? I fucking hate it, its fucking consumer art.

What’s consumer art? Ill fucking tell you. Its the picture that corporate America lays out the canvas for and allows all the world to paint, with cash. The buy this, buy that, be popular, pretty, attractive, but stay fucking poor picture that’s always painted green.

The worst part is, I see all of that, Yet I don’t have the fucking self control to say “No”. I walk into the name brand stores and buy the old navy performance fleece hoodie with my old navy card. I walk into sears and try to buy an xbox, but there so fucking popular that sears hasn’t had them for a month and a half.

Corporate America tells us to go get a college education, make something of yourself, so you can spend the money we pay you. We will get it back with interest, which of course we don’t pay you in the first place. Stay poor and in debt forever, you are Corporate America’s bitch.

The picture gets uglier when Corporate America tells you we can give you money to goto college, and the interest rate will be small. Your paying us back almost nothing and your getting your education. You have a loan with more then one company, you say??? That’s fine we’ll consolidate so it helps you out. What? You owe less then 7500$ oh sorry we can’t fucking help you, You poor bitch.

So lets get this straight…. You need to goto college to get a job, to pay a bill that goes back to the people that are your fucking employer’s, who say they can help you get that education so your making more money to put in their pockets, but their not going to help you because you don’t owe them enough money? So you need to go back to college in order to afford to live, but you cant because your too busy working your sorry little ass off to give money back to your employer, who wont help you get anywhere. Business is the ultimate consumer product!
-ironmark

This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. So the guy sits down next to her and pulls a small box from his pocket. He opens it and there’s a frog inside. The blonde says, “He’s cute, but does he do tricks?” The guy says, “Yea, he licks pussy.” So after talking with her for several minutes, he convinces her to come with him to his apartment. They get there and she takes all of her clothes off, gets into the bed and spreads her legs. The guy sets the frog right between her legs and it just sits there not moving at all. The blond says, “Well? what’s up?” The frog still does not move. So the guy leans over to the frog and says, “All right, I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”

so i ran across this new bitch online. she thinks she can jump in and take off her clothes. and goddamnit she is right. see if i mind when amanda’s clothes mysteriously dissapear. i think that asian girly that is with her is up to something. she keeps popping up here and there.

is it me or does this amanda girl look to be about 16? i know she is 18 and all, i guess all my emails to the siteadmins finally payed off. they now cater to the tom-o-phile. i guess its time to whip out them dicks and start flapping away.

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: “Pierre, kiss me!”

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on Marie’s lips. “What are you doing, Pierre?”, says the startled Marie.

“I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!” She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, “Pierre, kiss me lower.”

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. “Pierre! What are you doing?”, asks the bewildered Marie.

“I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!”

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, Pierre, kiss me lower!”

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep in the water, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, “PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

Our hero stands up defiantly and says, “I am Pierre the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!”

Did you hear a flop?

I’m getting real sick and tired of a few things. I will only get into one of these things for if I talked about each and everyone I might go crazy and have to kill myself. Has anyone ever noticed that really skinny girls seem to think that they are fat, and try to gain attention by using this and hoping 23432432 guys will say “oh no your perfect”.

All girls should follow in this woman’s steps. One word: HOT!! Well you won’t hear those words come out of my mouth. No the only words you will hear uttered out of my sweet talking mouth is “damn right bitch, you ever thought of trying to be bulimic?”

I don’t play into MTV’s next true life show hizzoe, no I make her here things that will continue with her problem of anorexia and bulimia. Does it hurt my feelings that Jessica is going to be on true life next month because she has a problem because guys like skinny girls and she believes she isn’t skinny enough… the hell it does. I’d actually like to accompany the fat slut on the show and make sure MTV doesn’t make her stop. Skinny girls have no hope at ever getting in my leopard striped sheets. Why is it you asked, well for one skinny girls have no ass, and there pants sag more than a gang banging Mexican.

Encourage girls that are skinny, and who constantly think they are fat that, there is no way in hell that their tubby ass is going to drop anymore pounds so there next best bet is suicide. I mean if you weigh 100lbs and can’t drop that extra 10lbs to be down at 90 your fat ass has nothing to live for, I would say just go and slit your wrist, however considering if you did that you would run directly into bone, I suggest either hanging yourself in your closet or Kurt Cobain your brains across your bedroom all. All good options. Everyone remember that next time you hear a girl complaining that she is overweight that she probably is and that you have no right to lie to her and tell her she isn’t. Make sure that you get your point across that she could be the start of Free Willy 4 hands down. To motivate her to vomit more than she already does, make sure you and your buddies constantly remind her that she is one huge bitch. Bonus points for those of you that get one to commit suicide.

Also if you have never ‘been’ with a bulimic or anorexic girl may I suggest you get with one, get turned down don’t worry, she can’t put up
too much of a fight when you rape her, considering she’s all skin and bones. Till next time keep on rocking in the free world.

For non skinny girls click here.

I hope i’m not stuck next to any fat bitches on the plane. The little midget from Pleasure Island will do. He is tiny and doesn’t take up much space. Maybe I could stow him in the overhead compartment. I’m sure he’d like that shit. Does anyone remember his name? I don’t. Noone really cares anymore. I’m sure he is hanging out with Webster and Gary Coleman at their cushy security gig making a keen $7.50 an hour.

I don’t understand why IE wont display the images. Just ignore that shit for now. They aren’t that entertaining anyways. If you cant see the one up top of this post, it Heathcliff. Remember him. Wasn’t he the alter ego of Garfield back in the 80’s and 90’s? He did shit that Garfield would never do. Like crazy sexy parties with the Snorks and She-Ra. That cat nigga was on some serious drugs. That’s fo sho.

Apparently some Zoo in London has a new exhibit… People. Eight of them to be exact. Running around Adam & Eve style. Fig leaves and thats all. I wonder if they have a “Do not feed the retards sign’. Someone needs to smuggle some drugs in there. See them trip the fuck out. That would be a site to see. I wonder if they’re allowed to copiate [sp?] [fuck] in public. Why woudln’t they be able to. They are in their so called ‘natural’environment [kinda]. I say have a sexy party. They seem to be popping up all over anymore.

After getting back from Florida, I think it’s time to have Diggapallooza 05: Fall Brawl. I know school just started so this will only be for the locals. Unless of course you want to come down. I’ll post on here the details of said party. Might want to bring some money. Poker may be involved. Also learned a game called nickels. But we will use quarters or dollars. Maybe c-notes if we get drunk enough. So get ready. Bring enough booze for you and a little bit for me. Ill be sippin on Absynthe, Everclear and Beer.

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to hit everything but the toilet. So his mom has to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and takes Tommy to the doctor.

After the examination, the doctor said, “His unit is too small. An old wives’ tale is to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he can hold it and aim straight.”

The next morning Tommy jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. There on the table, are twelve slices of toast.

“Mom!” Tommy yells. “The doctor said I only had to eat two slices of toast.”

“I know.” said his mother. “The other ten are for your father.”

I’ll have some pictures up of my wonderful trip to Florida come Saturday night or Sunday sometime. I know your just dying to see them. Everyone has been bugging the shit out of me to get them up. If I woulda brought my goddamn USB cable to FloHo with me then we wouldnt have this problem. I know I know. I’m botarded. Oh well. I think I can give back enough porn to the community to redeem myself. Speaking of porn, here’s some badass shit that you have to see to believe.

These bitches just love getting hot man butter all over their face. Come check it out. Free + Porn = Cock Hard.

I AM IRON TIGER (11:24:34 PM): fuck your tits
^ Gotta love the amazing commentary by the AZN.

How the hell did summer end so fast? It seemed like just yesterday we were all bitching about the cold weather. Now that shit is coming back. WTF. And I’m thinking about buying another car to fill up the driveway with. With the boat and the bike I don’t know where i’m going to store it all. Oh well. Toys are fun. Now all I need is a jet ski and a truck to tow all the shit I own. Maybe it’ll flood again soon and I can rock the boat to the bar. I really doubt that’ll happen though. But if it snows enough we could take the snowmobile to the bar. I’ve seen it done before. Why not now?

What did the Nazi’s do to the Black Jews?
Made them sit in the back of the oven.

That’s all I got for now. More to come when my lazy ass flies home. I hope my arms don’t get tired.

I saw a girl while out @ Universal Studios [pics coming soon] and I saw this fat goth wanna-be girl with a “do i look like i care” shirt. While it didn’t look like she nor I cared, it sure as fuck looked like she ate. Bitch was so fuckin big her hair had stretch marks. She was so big [audience member: how big was she digga?]. This woman was so big that when I was on top of her having sex I had to ask her to turn the cieling light off….cause it was buring my ass. Wait… I didn’t have sex with her. You get the point though. She was a huge bitch. Just figured i’d share how large and obtrusive she was. Im sure the Spider-man ride was leaning WAAAY back when she was cow tipped into it.

Lately the trend in my posting has been to include a joke. Shit seems to be working. So why fuck it up now.

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St.Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams.

“Sure” says the old lady, “but I’ve already got the holes for that!”

This is what being a couch potato is all about. I needs to get my fatass a couch like this. If you recline in it, they will come.

It’s like 2am. I’m kinda tired. Ill throw some more shit up here in the morning when I wake up. Until then don’t mushroom stamp too many bitches while I’m gone. And if you do, snap a fuckin pic for christs sake.

Florida is so nice. To all you people that said it would be too hot and all that jizzy jazz, Suck on my left ventricle. It’s so nice. 90+ degrees and it isn’t humid. Mmmmmm, tasty. Between the pool or the beach, it’s hard to decide where to go in the morning after the sun’s rays touch my penis and I wake up. Anyways enough about me and my tanned ass.

I wonder what’s going on up in the NY. Aside from the usual nothing I can assume all is the same. It’s NY. Nothing good ever happens unless its September. I’m coming home Saturday. Who wants to throw a welcome home party/ass whipping? I think I may on Tuesday. Ill keep it posted suckas.

It seems noone wants to take my money. You wanna spend a little on advertising and not one person can get back to you. I guess I’ll just have to order more Absynthe and see the pink elefunt i have in my room try to mate with Domo-Kun again. Shit was wicked. I didn’t know how to deal with it when they wanted a 3-way. I just had to deal with it. Don’t let Domo-Kun fool you. Even with those sharp teeth he can suck-a mean dick-a.

I just stumbled upon some strange sex laws. Being the sex freak that I am. I figured I’ll share them with everyone.

If a police officer in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.

In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

And people thought I was fucked up. Think again.

That’s all I can think of for now. That and i’m going to the pool. Later cumknuckles.

Coming at you live from Port St. Lucie Florida…

Being theres a Real World Marathon on the tv all the goddamn time, im sure ill have loads of free time to do whatever I please. Damn the real world to hell. To hell i say. I dont know how the hell the people can watch this SCRIPTED bullshit drama tv show. Its a total waste of a half hour [or day if its a fuckin marathon]. Oh no, i might get a break from my wonderous life of plugging away at a keyboard AFTER THIS EPISODE…

15 seasons of mind numbing banter perpatrated by people that belong in elementary school. I think they need “time out” or some variation of nap time. Im 100% positive this show would be better if they taped it during the hours of normal human sleep [12am - 8am]. Anyone claiming to have Insomnia would instantly be cured.

Subject change

So who says baseball is the national pasttime? Ive never been to a game before. I happen to be going to one today. I think the only good thing about it is im getting paid for it. They say its all in the anticipation. For what, to leave the stadium? Seems about the only thing interesting to me. Big silly men with their big sticks, awhackin some balls around all day. Trying to get to first base with each other. Sounds kinda homosexual to me. And when one of them finally makes it to ‘home base’ they all smack him on the ass as he goes to his perverbial home [dugout]. Everyone then proceeds to cheer for a man, who with a big stick hit a ball with said stick. I dont know about you, but if i were gay i could see all this action in a ghey bar. No need to pay alot of money to get in a stadium, and proceed to pay $5.95 for a goddamn hotdog. Fuck baseball. Its boring and is past its time. Move on and play something else.

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?!”

Dont try to buy adspace on other sites when you are doing the peepee dance. i almost pissed all over the keyboard and lost my ad description. next time i think ill piss in a bottle. who’s thirsty? i know im parched. feels like some kind of goofy metaphor that i cant currently think of. im dealing with intergrating spreadsheets into word. w3rd.

im off today. today is a day that ends in Y. guess you know what that means. ill be drinking. gotta stop at the liquor store on the way home. who really wants to read about me drinking anymore? come fuckin join me damnit. i got 2 beds in my room now. too bad one is stacked on top of the other one. if you can figure out a way to sleep on the bottom bed w/o fuckin my shit all up then feel free to stay over.

i think its time for another road trip or concert. this sitting at home sht just isnt cutting it anymore. someone needs to get on the hot spot with the quickness. i hear rammstein has a new single out. i think its called amerika. theres a video floating around somewheres online. maybe they will come back to the states and set it a blaze once again.

i want to brush a girls back teeth with my dick. anyone out there want fresh clean teeth and gums? im a dentist i swear. i make patients open their mouth wide. i got those little mirror thingies on order and im bout to get the hot auto-lean chair. got this new super gloss coat shit. i hear it tastes a bit salty, but ill let you be the judge.

id throw up witty and interesting pictures in the update but im at lazy and dont have the time to go spelunking [sp?] for pics to throw up. your gonna have to deal until i get motivated. the tv is talking about exploding some pie. id sure like some pie to explode in my face right about now. man i loves that shit. mmmmmmmmmm tasty.

There is this black kid that goes to school and notices that the teachers treat the white kids better than the black kids. So he goes home and paints himself white and shows his dad. Hey dad look im white! His dad kicks his ass, and says alright go show your mother. Hey mom look im white! His mom beats the shit out of him then says go show your gradma. Hey gradma look im white she beats his ass and sends him to his room. About an hour later all the family comes to his room and says have you learned anything from this? The kid says yeah ive learned i have only been white for an hour and I already hate 3 niggers.

GIT R’ DONE.

Thats what i hear 50 times a night around this town anymore. I hate to tell some of you this, but your name is not Larry nor are you a cable guy. If you are feel free to tickle my ass and call me rainbow warrior. Seriously, i know he is a famous face now because of that inbred jeff foxworthy, but cmon now. the magic was over after the 50th time he said that shit. the same as YEAH! was over after lil’ john said it for the thousandth time. let it go people. its time to move on. why not go watch all your relatives. they made it big you know. remember DELIVERANCE. time to break out the banjo and make some yankees squeal like pigs.

Has anyone had a lean pocket recently? this lowfat shit sucks. granted i try to eat less and sometimes ill get low fat shit. well not really. only time i got a lean pocket was cause they didnt have the kind i wanted in the regular hot pockets. goddamn the grocery store. how the hell hard is it to stock the shelves with meatball & mozzerella hot pockets. i get home and pop them in the microwave, and 2 minutes and 30 seconds later it tastes like im eating a tire with some sauce in the middle. i flipped them over and was looking for 205/55/r16 or some shit. i was ready to stretch this thing out and put it on that bad tire i have on one of my rims. im sure it would last longer than any firestone tire out there.

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

”Damned if I know,” said the little boy, ”but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.”

Thats all i can think of for now. i think im gonna go stealth nigga neenja and jackie chan flip off the ceiling and out the mofuckin door.

What the fuck is up with gas stations and this prepay shit. mind you i dont really care about going in first. but my main focal point is this bullshit pump-slowdown crap. IE: I pay for 10$ of gas. now when i get to like 3.79 or some shit it starts going slow as fuck and im stuck there waiting for my gas to get into my motorvehicle. I have a feeling im going to fucking retire or die of old age before i get my gas. I got shit to do. As do the 100 fucking people who are behind me now cause the pump wants to take its sweet as mo’fuckin time. They are pissed at me, im pissed at whoever the fuck designed this system. Theres no need for that. There is such a thing as the perfect pump. It can go faster. And why is it when i press the handle all the way the shit acts like my gas is full and cuts me off? The fuck man. Niggas need to take a stand and siphon that shit outta other peoples cars like i do.

A woman meets a man in a bar.They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

“Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf.”

Ran across some drawings done while an artist was given some acid. Drawings are pretty fuckin good for being out of his fucking mind.

Why must McDonalds stop serving breakfast at 10:30? Thats when my ass wakes up. They need to move that shit back up to 11am like it used to be. They need to cater to all the lazy people who grew up with the 11am timeframe. At least then i could wake up at 10:30, throw on whatever is on the floor and go out there. But i guess its better that way. I should be taking my fat ass to the gym instead.

And onto a totally different subject, DMX: This guy looks like a thinner version of Bad News Brown from the WWF. My dead grandfather can rap better than this asshole. All he does is talk over assed out beats and bark like a rabid Chihuahua. I want to kick that little ankle biters ass. His movies are a fucking joke. Steven Segal has never made a good movie and they make it worse by casting him with DMX in Exit Wounds. I had to sit through that movie 50 fucking times at work cause someone didnt have any other movies to watch. Dont get me wrong, I like Ruff Ryders, just not DMX. Dont like Eve either. Some women should not be allowed out of the ghetto. She makes female rappers like Rah Digga look real bad

Its aboot 11:20 and im sitting here bored out of my fucking mind. I really do believe ive seen the entire internet. I have half of it sitting at my feet in a collection of porn that i have never watched. I get on this damn machine here, check my earnings on some of my other projects and talk to a few of my friends on AIM. There isnt much to it other than me whoring around on GFY. To tell the truth, I made some money off that guy in Iraq who got his head cut off. Thats the American fuckin way right there. The misfortune of someone else is helping someone else get ahead just a little bit.

Ive seen all the porn i care to see. I have well over 100 movies sitting at my feet from a while back. Anyone want it? I really have no use for it. Its just porn. Id rather fuck someones brains out everynight [as that is the current trend] instead of sitting in front of my monitor worrying about if someone else is gonna find my pubes on the keyboard or not. If they do i really dont give a shit anyways though.

Maybe i should get out more, maybe i should play guitar/bass more. Maybe i should get a new job or go back to college. All i know is i need to do or see something that will desensitize me even more. Ive seen too much sick shit. Its just the norm for me now. So lets go and fuckin do it already goddamnit.

I was writing something that almost resembled intelligent wording for a change, and my fucking computer decided to just shut off for no reason whatsoever. Man that shit pisses me off. I just wanna find some explosives or a midget and bash the shit out of one with the other. This shit just pops up out of nowhere anymore. Im saving as I type this out just incase the shit happens again. I lose trainof thought easily anymore. I had a nice big list going of shit to write about, and now its half gone. I wish I had the Linux box setup. That thing would stay on for months at a time and not give me one problem. I think perhaps its time to build another Linux box. Along with the pc shutting off, when it doesn’t the wireless connection just shats out on me at any given moment. We can pick up signal at fuckin NYSEG but not 25 feet away in my room? WTF is up with that chit mang? Its time for some cat5 cable up in this beyotch.

My room is a fucking mess all the time. I know I can get away with it now cause im my own boss in the house and all, but its nice to have a room that resembles something of niceness. Feels kinda shitty when people stop over and have to look at what I don’t feel like cleaning up. Guess ill have to get off my ass for a change.

A man and a women are involved in a car accident;
it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly
neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the man
says, “So you’re a woman, that’s interesting. I’m a man. Wow, just look
at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This
must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live
together in peace for the rest of our days. The woman replied, “I agree
with you completely.” “This must be a sign from God!” The man
continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God
wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then he
hands the bottle to the woman, The woman nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the man.
The man takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the woman. The woman asks, “Aren’t you having any?” The man
replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”

Everyone remembers BadgerBadgerBadger. Check out the remix.

Subject:FUCK you digga

From:”slayer” ace4ever35@hotmail.com

Date:Tue, 24 Feb 2004 23:54:22 -0500

To:digga@diggastyle.net

fuck you BOB! i know who u are, and ur fucking gay ass purple neon that sucks fucking donkey dick!!!!! fuck u bitch, ur lucky it wasnt there halloween or i would paintballed the fucking shit out of it fucker!!!!!!

Recieved this email earlier. Check this out. Why dont you come find me? If you say you know me then you know where i hang out. Come find me and ill finish this for you. Or are you going to hide behind your computer on your intergeekweb making your e-penis bigger? Sorry if i rubbed your rubarb the wrong way, but then again i really dont give a fuck. If you cant come out and talk shit to my face then dont bother wasting my time. I have more important shit to do. Bring it on fucker.

–anyone remember this? the cuntdropping never came forward did he. Punk ass bitch.

Well, it finally arrived. The absynthe. Showed up today along with my domo-kun rabbit. Let’s hope i survive this shit. Looks like i could down the bottle in one shot. I have been told by numerous people not to do this…. We’ll see. Pics coming soon. Soon as my ass stops seeing shit.

Wanna trip like I do? Order it here

Here’s a classic…

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. “I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?”

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, “Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.” “Well, that’s pretty crappy,” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.” He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.” In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, “Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost.”

It’s raining. That means I cannot ride my bike. Boo e-freaking hoo you say. But I like riding my bike. It gives me something to do besides sit here and look at porn all day. Not that I do anyways. I just peddle the shit. So go buy some porn damnit. The more money I make the less I’ll be at the pc. Maybe I’ll come over to your house and bother you. I’ll bring the pizza and beer with my new found cash…

Speaking of beer. Why is it so good? Let’s find out what’s in it first of all.

* Grain Malts - Specialty grains and base malts
* Malt Extract - Available in syrup or powdered form, malt extract is the base of many beers.
* Hops - Hops are a flower which provide the floral-aromatics and bitterness in beer.
* Yeast - Yeast consume fermentable sugars in beer wort, and produce alcohol.
* Sugars - Corn sugar, candi sugar, honey, and other sugars commonly used in beer.
* Flavorings - Fruit flavorings and spices.
* Additives - Clarifiers, water salts…

Now, all these things seperate are pretty shitty. But mix them together and you have the nectar of the gods. Along with booze, beer is the thing that keeps me going. That and porn cheques every few days

I’m so bored. My neck hurts. But it’s not from watching my new LG 30″ Widescreen HDTV. Dats right bitches. HD owns j00’s [thats right, it owns jews]. Nice dent it put in my pocket. So much so I’m feeling it in my ass. The tv has bent me over and made me its tele-bitch. Tech Toys own.

I came home yesterday and to my surprise, someone actually took my old desk. I was about to drop kick that shit from off the porch. To whomever took it, thanks. Saved me a trip to the dump. W3rd.

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous.

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

Somehow, someway, I’m not sure why, but that joke reminds me of Pete…

Anyone wanna come over and play Madden or Tekken in HD? Having a televisior with inputs and outputs really is the cats ass. The witches titty… I think you get the idea.

I’d like to play some darts. We have a badass board here at the house. Just need people to practice on. Bought a set of darts in my innebreiated state the other night. This is becoming a trend. First the wireless PS2 controllers. And now these. At least all this shit is getting put to good use. Except for the 600watt Dolby Digital 6.1 Stereo Reciever I bought the other day. Gotta return that one. Unless anyone wants it. All you need are speakers to complete the deal. Let a Digga know. Ya hurd.

CHANGE OF SUBJECT

Why do fat bitches feel the need to dress sexy. Yes some can pull it off. BRB Beer time [@3pm mind you]. Anyways, where was I. Oh yeah. WTF is wrong with these insanely large women feeling the need to buy lingerie? Not like they can just go in and buy something off the rack. Essentially they have to buy the rack and have all that shit sewn together by a master sewman [or whatever the fuck they are called] so they can scrunch their fatass into a size 30. It reminds me of that pic that I cannot seem to find right now [cause im too lazy to type in the google toolbar] of that fat lady on top of that guy. All you can see is his body. No neck, no head. His shit was engulfed by a large poon-beast. I think I got off topic a bit. Let me put it out there plain and simple. Larger ladies, while some of you wear it very well, most of you don’t. Do us all a favor. Move to Alaska, put on a parka and get mistaken for a blubber whale. We get tired of you beaching yourselves in Florida.

Domo-Kun says I need another joke in here. So here we go.

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant, and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone.

The man, after reading this note, sends another note to her. It read:
“Just so you will know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iL, and a Mercedes 560SEL in my garage, plus I have over twenty-million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off my dick. Just send the wine back.”

Maybe I should become a dope rapper. I gots da rhymes dogg. Listening to Bloodhound Gang while drinking does that too me. I’m sorry. I will always be forever cracker. I guess I’ll just stick to gootar and bass. Oh well. Oh yeah, and PORN too. Does me well. Speaking of porn, who wants some. I know I do.

I guess that’s all for now. I may throw in a few links to friends sites later. In the meantime, check out the sidebar links. If you feel like getting fucked up order some Absynthe. I’m still waiting on mine. I’ll let you know how that goes. Hopefully I’ll show you also. Peace out niggas.

Why is it so fucking hot out? My PC decides it’s too hot in here [with the a/c on high mind you] and just decides to shut off. Everytime I turn it back on, it either works, doesnt work, or works for 5 minutes giving me a false sense of hope and shuts off again. Whatthefuck. After I get back from Florida im dumping this piece of shit off at the nearest shooting range and getting myself something newer. Was about time anyways. Preferably something that stays cool on the inside. Dry ice cooled would be nice. If I can’t have that then I’ll just have to get a window fan and prop that son of a bitch in the case and be done with it. My PC doesn’t tell me what to do. I tell it what to do. Goddamn piece of metal shit.

If your feeling lonely go rent a midget… or little person as they like to be called. LINK

i dont know why the images arent working in ie, aside from IE being a total piece of e-shit.

go get firefox if you want to see the images.