I saw a girl while out @ Universal Studios [pics coming soon] and I saw this fat goth wanna-be girl with a “do i look like i care” shirt. While it didn’t look like she nor I cared, it sure as fuck looked like she ate. Bitch was so fuckin big her hair had stretch marks. She was so big [audience member: how big was she digga?]. This woman was so big that when I was on top of her having sex I had to ask her to turn the cieling light off….cause it was buring my ass. Wait… I didn’t have sex with her. You get the point though. She was a huge bitch. Just figured i’d share how large and obtrusive she was. Im sure the Spider-man ride was leaning WAAAY back when she was cow tipped into it.
Lately the trend in my posting has been to include a joke. Shit seems to be working. So why fuck it up now.
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She is chatting to St.Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams.
“Oh my goodness,” says the old lady, “what is happening?”
“Don’t worry about that,” says St. Peter, “It’s only someone having the holes bored on their shoulder blades for the wings.”
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more bloodcurdling screams.
“Oh my goodness,” says the old lady, “now what is happening?”
“Not to worry,” says St.Peter, “they are just having their head drilled to fit the halo.”
Shaking her head, the old lady says, “I can’t do this. I’m off down to hell.”
“You can’t go there,” says St. Peter, “You’ll be raped and sodomized.”
“Sure” says the old lady, “but I’ve already got the holes for that!”
This is what being a couch potato is all about. I needs to get my fatass a couch like this. If you recline in it, they will come.
It’s like 2am. I’m kinda tired. Ill throw some more shit up here in the morning when I wake up. Until then don’t mushroom stamp too many bitches while I’m gone. And if you do, snap a fuckin pic for christs sake.
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