So that’s what we at Camp Digga decided to name the cat. He does all kinds of goofy shit. Most in particular, he jumps at us like he is the supafly. So we figured why not name him that. It seems fitting. Goddamn cat is all over the place. We can smell him coming tonight because his ass stinks like yesterday’s attends. I think its a contagious thing because the roommates cat’s ass always smells like… well the cats ass. I’m not quite sure how to deal with it. I wonder if I can send him of so SoCal and have his brown eye bleached like one of them famous cats. I’ve heard rumors that Garfield bleached his a while back before doing that horrible movie. That orange nigga needs to stick to comics.

A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.

“Care to go upstairs and do it?” the husband asked.

“Shh!” said the bride “All the neighbors will know what we’re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we’ll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, ‘Have you left the washing machine door open’ instead?”

So, the following night, the husband asks, “I don’t suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?”

“No, I definitely shut it,” replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, “I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?”

“No, thanks,” said the husband. “It was only a small load so I did it by hand.” A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.

“Care to go upstairs and do it?” the husband asked.

“Shh!” said the bride “All the neighbors will know what we’re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we’ll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, ‘Have you left the washing machine door open’ instead?”

So, the following night, the husband asks, “I don’t suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?”

“No, I definitely shut it,” replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, “I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?”

“No, thanks,” said the husband. “It was only a small load so I did it by hand.”

So I finally got a new job. It’s about goddamn time. Been waiting on this place to call me for oh about a year now. Guess my time on the list finally came. I get to live every New Yorkers dream. A state job. The long hours of doing as little as possible. The good pay [thanks taxpayers]. The vacations. And the benefits. Now I can get myself some real false teeth instead of those chicklets i’ve been using. Apparently white is a rare chicklet color. Yellow is the closest thing, so it just looks like someone has been pissing in my mouth all goddamn day.

It’s going to be hard leaving the piss industry. But I’m sure I’ll manage. They are giving me a piss colored fake rolex and a cup for the road at my going away party. Guess that’s how they treat the big dogs when it’s time to move on to greener pastures.

A good rule of thumb is if you’ve made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you’ve made a serious vocational error.
– Dennis Miller

^ How true is that shit. Who wants to be working at McDigga’s at 35? Don’t the managers have to wear name tags also? I find that shit disturbing. Do I honestly need to know these people’s names? No. I do not give a fuck who made my burger. As long as it isn’t this guy. I’m sure he needs a job like alot of people, but not in the food industry. Maybe he could do well for himself in cambodia making designer clothing like Nike, Guess and Boss. We all know it’s made there by bums and children. Even child bums. So let’s just cut the malarky and get down to business already.

Well. I guess it’s time to go get laid. That or I have to sit here and drink goldschlager. We all know that shit isn’t happening. Remember what happened last time I drank that crap?

Digga, over and out.