2 guys in a bar. the one guy says to the other guy “today is my wifes birthday.” the other guy goes, “oh yeah, what did you get her?” The guy says “a diamond ring and a mercedes.”

“A diamond ring and a mercedes? why?” the guy answers ” well because if she didnt like the diamond ring, she could take it back in the mercedes.” the other guy goes “well my wifes birthday was 2 weeks ago” and the guy says “what did you get her?” He answers ” I got her flip flops and a dildo.” The other guy says “why flip flops and a dildo?” He answers “well if she didnt like the flip flops she can go fuck herself.”