So I had to wake up at 5 am this morning. No big deal right. Well seeing as I finally managed to doze off around 2am, I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was supposed to do a double. Training in the morning [how to deal with mentally ill people in a proper fashion [more on that later]], and then my regular shift in the evening. I guess i’m just not accustomed to mornings anymore [I like to wake up b/w 12 & 1 everyday]. I felt like shit all morning and into the afternoon. I really felt like I was going to faint and possibly throw up [let’s hope not at the same time]. Thankfully I was able to go home after the training. I still feel like shit but I do not have to sit on a ward and possibly be Anyone hear any good jokes lately? I haven’t been running across any. Probably cause i’m too lazy to go look. I guess i’ll try and find one right quick…. Got one… And it sure as hell seems fitting for a state worker like myself.
An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar - a man. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out, “My God, I know who that man is. It’s Jesus!”
The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table. The Irishman called out, “Hey! You!!! Are you Jesus?” The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. “Yes, I am Jesus” he says.
The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him “I’d like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me.” So the bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table. Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles “thank you” and drinks.
The Englishman then calls out, “Errr, excuse me Sir, but would you be Jesus?” Jesus smiles and says, “Yes, I am Jesus.” The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men.
Then the Australian calls out, “Oi, you! D’ya reckon you’re Jesus, or what?” Jesus nods and says, “Yes, I am Jesus.” The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of VB for Jesus, which he accepts with pleasure.
Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement. “Oh God, the arthritis is gone,” he says. “The arthritis I’ve had for years is gone. It’s a miracle!”
Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the Newcastle Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman’s eyes widen in shock. By jove, he exclaims, “The migraine I’ve had for over 40 years is completely gone. It’s a Miracle!”
Jesus then approaches the Australian, who has a terrified look on his face… “Fuck off, mate! I’m on workers comp!!”
“Borrowed” via Orsm.net, check him out. His shit seems more on point than mine. But come back, I get lonely sometimes.
Seems that’s all I have for now. My neck is starting to hurt so I guess i’ll go lay down. L8r suckers.
You must be logged in to post a comment.